When Reality Feels Unreal

Today, like many others, I saw the news of Charlie Kirk’s assassination. And for a moment, my mind and body didn’t know how to process it. I felt numb, almost as if I was floating above myself, buzzing with energy but disconnected from feeling. Watching something so shocking and so violent strips away our sense of normalcy. It leaves us asking: "why does my brain feel like it can’t tell the difference between fiction and reality?"

I didn’t know Charlie personally and won’t pretend otherwise. But years ago, when I was on staff at a radio station in Atlanta and collaborating with other Christian social media influencers, our paths brushed. We exchanged a few messages online, and I remember seeing his rise in politics at the same time I was stepping back from it. That limited connection doesn’t make this tragedy mine to claim, but it does make it feel less like a distant headline. It reminds me how small these circles can be, and how deeply it cuts when violence touches them.

The truth is, our minds aren’t wired to process real violence the same way we process what we see on a screen or read in a book. When I sit down to watch an action movie or see a violent scene in a show, I do it with a kind of unspoken contract: this isn’t real. Even if the images are graphic, my brain understands it as fiction: an actor, a script, special effects. I can let myself feel the suspense or adrenaline without fearing for anyone’s actual life.

But when something violent happens in reality, especially when it’s caught on video, it's like our brains don’t know how to file it away. It looks like what we’ve seen in movies, but the world is telling us this isn’t fiction. This time, someone’s father, husband, friend is gone. And that dissonance, that gap between what feels like a scene and what we know is real, creates shock, numbness, even disbelief. It’s the mind’s way of saying: "this doesn’t make sense, I can’t accept it." Movies and fiction have always been “safe places” for processing big emotions, because we know deep down they aren’t real. But when reality looks like something out of a film, our minds rebel.

I don’t think this reaction is weakness. For some, it may even trigger echoes of past pain. Trauma has a way of reawakening old wounds, connecting one moment of horror to another. And while my personal story isn’t the focus here, I know what it’s like to carry the weight of trauma in your body long after the event passes.

That’s why I want to say this: don’t watch the video. It’s graphic, it’s awful, and there’s no healing in forcing ourselves to relive it. My prayers are with Charlie’s family, his wife and children, and with the young students who were in that audience; their lives forever changed by what they witnessed. God be with them in this unimaginable grief.

If you, like me, are left unsettled, confused, or shaken... know that you aren’t alone. When the world feels unbearably dark, run to the things that bring you light. For me, it’s Scripture, reading, and art. For you, it might be music, nature, prayer, or time with loved ones. This isn’t about ignoring evil or pretending it doesn’t exist. It’s about knowing there’s only so much the human mind can carry, and choosing to give the rest back to God.

Tonight, somewhere, a mother is explaining to her children why their father isn’t coming home. And for what? No words can make sense of that.

All we can do is honor life by holding tighter to what brings peace, by being gentle with ourselves and each other, and by refusing to let violence consume the better parts of who we are.

By: Michael-Chase Strollo

Published: September 10, 2025 9:30 PM ET

United States, Faith, Religion, Politics